When I was thirty-two years old, I was working a job that I really enjoyed as a psychotherapist for a private agency in Northeast Philadelphia. At that time I was blessed to provide individual and family therapy as well as to work with teenagers in high schools all across Philadelphia, including some of the poorest and most crime-laden neighborhoods in the area. I loved my work and my co-workers and had no plans of leaving my job. Then….the call came….from one of my graduate school professors and he said, “Rob, I think I have an opportunity you might be interested in. It is working as an employee of The Pennsylvania State Department of Corrections as a Psychological Services Specialist.” After I hung up the phone, my first thought was, “I don’t want to work in a prison and I certainly don’t want to leave my job.” However, the more I thought about it and the more I prayed about it, the more open I became to the idea. After all, the job with the State paid more, had better benefits, and offered me better hours. As I got close to accepting the position I called my mom and her words to me were, “They (the inmates) will kill you.” Not exactly the inspirational, confidence building comment I was hoping for from dear old mom, but there it was just the same. Well, despite my mom’s dire predictions, I accepted the position in order to better meet my family’s needs and I prayed my way all the way into the parking lot of The State Correctional Institute at Graterford – a maximum security prison that housed about four thousand inmates. As I sat in the parking lot ready to start my first day, I remember looking at the forty-foot security wall and praying this prayer (which still hangs in my office to this day):
“More than anything in heaven or on earth, I pray for the power to love my fellow person, to break through the damning bigotry, the crippling prejudice, the stifling self-centeredness that smothers God’s Spirit within me, and to channel and communicate divine love to lonely, loveless people.” – Leslie Brandt
It is not that at the time I felt myself to be a prejudiced person, but the part of the prayer that resonated with me was that I could go into Graterford and help the men incarcerated there, some of whom I was quite sure were lonely and loveless.
In the parking lot, I also meditated on a Bible verse that a friend had sent me a few days before which was:
“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7
It is now almost twenty years later and God has indeed sustained me through the very difficult task of offering psychological help to incarcerated men. I will not sugarcoat my experience. It has been by far the most difficult thing I have ever done. I have experienced things in Graterford that I would just as soon forget. I have been pushed to my limits in a multitude of ways. I have felt the weightiness of the environment in the same manner one might feel a fifty-pound weight strapped to their back. However, I have experienced things in my work which I am sure that I would have never experienced any place else. I have experienced the strength of the Lord in incredible measure. I have been bathed in His peace more times than I can say. I have been brought close to Him in ways that I could not have imagined. I have been equipped to help the inmates at Graterford in many different ways and I know that this occurred only because God was gracious enough to answer my prayers. I have developed a hunger for God’s Word and clung to His promises with a ferocity and intimacy that was not previously present. Indeed, out of my perpetual weakness, God has taught me dependence and that His grace is sufficient for me.
As you might have suspected, two decades ago I never would have chosen to work at Graterford if it was up to me. Yet, as I consider where God has led me through these years and what He has done in me, I would not trade my experience for anything. Yes, there have been many days when I was more than ready to quit my job. Yes, there have been even more days when I have said to myself (and Lisa) that I am not sure I could do another day, or year. However, in those times God continued to show me who He was and what He could do through me and this includes sharing the gospel with many inmates.
In place of 2 Timothy 1:7, I now place two other sections of Scripture that resonate loudly with me. I understand the context in which they were written but in the context in which I have lived, they are deeply personal to me and seem to tell the tale of my work at Graterford.
“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” 2 Corinthians 4: 7-8
“18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18
Perhaps you are facing the prospect of having to do something you don’t want to. You see yourself as content and to go and do this less desirable thing will mean hardship for you. May I encourage you to not discount what God can do in you in the midst of adversity? Perhaps He will use the upcoming unpleasant circumstances to work out His wonderful plan for you, including making you more like His Son, Jesus.
Remember His promises:
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1: 2-3
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 1 Peter 1: 6-7
Rob