Are your current habits helping or hindering your marriage?
A habit is something that we do, usually without thinking about it that requires minimal effort but achieves a goal. Like our morning routine which allows us to get ready for the day while still half asleep.
Some habits are good and effective while others are actually harmful to our wellbeing or to those around us. When you look at the habits that guide your daily/weekly activities are they strengthening your relationship or are they causing you to drift apart? When was the last time you talked about anything beyond what was needed to keep the family functioning? When did you last do something fun together as a couple?
Psychologists have determined that it takes between four and six weeks to form a new habit. We seldom create new habits accidentally (unless it is the habit of neglecting each other). Most of us deliberately set out to form a new habit, because we want something different in our lives. This takes a fair amount of work as you struggle to stop one habit and build a new one.
Like when Jan and I decided that we wanted to make sure that we were the first one to greet the other when we came home. Now, this started when we had children and a dog at home. That certainly made it a challenge! But we have kept that habit through the last 20 years and it has been very rewarding.
But, sometimes we drifted into habits that have proved to be harmful to our relationship and that thankfully we eventually recognized and decided to change. One of the worst habits that I (Mark) had was plopping in front of the television to unwind and “relax” after dinner. This ended up cutting off most communication with Jan and often wasting the entire night. Now I seldom watch TV and we often play a game together and discuss the day’s events or upcoming activities.
So what habits do you have that are hindering your relationship with God and with your spouse? What can you do to replace it with something that is healthier for your relationship? Once you have decide to make a change, post it on your refrigerator and your bedroom mirror. Keep working at it until you have made it a habit that you enjoy and treasure.
May god abundantly bless you both,
Mark & Jan