When I was young, I always marveled at how “old” old people were, and now I am fast approaching becoming one of them.
When I was young I could run forever on cross-country and feel great, and now every run I do stays with me for days after.
When I was young I thought those who possessed fame and fortune were the most blessed people on earth, and now I see that the most blessed people are those who love God.
When I was young my friends were the most important people on the earth, now I am rarely in touch with anyone that I grew up with.
I could go on and on but my point is that when we are young, our experience and view of things changes radically with the passage of time. This week I was with a man who for all intents and purposes is on his death bed. His view of things has changed radically, but the change has only come over the past few months. Back in the spring he would look at me with a bit if a swagger and tell me how he was going to fight his disease and come out the victor. Now, he is talking to me about the prospect of his own death. He shared a “When I was young” phrase with me this week when he said to me, “When I was young I didn’t fear death, but now I am afraid of it. I don’t want to die.” I could tell as I looked into his eyes that his life was fading, and that perhaps he only has several more months.
I once heard someone say something like, “I don’t fear death, it is what comes before it that bothers me.” Recently, I “Googled” some quotes on death and the one I found most interesting was this one;
“To fear death, gentlemen, is no other than to think oneself wise when one is not, to think one knows what one does not know. No one knows whether death may not be the greatest of all blessings for a man, yet men fear it as if they knew that it is the greatest of evils.” ? Socrates
As years have passed, I guess it is fair to say that my view of death has become somewhat a combination of the two perspectives shared above. I certainly don’t welcome any of the pain and suffering that could precede my death, but what I have come to know with certainty (unlike Socrates), is that when I die, it will be the greatest of all blessings to me. Of course, I don’t want to leave my wonderful wife who I love so deeply. Of course, I want to be there for every moment of my son’s life and enjoy the blessings of being his father. Of course, I rejoice and praise God for this life that He has given me. But, I have read God’s word and stand in its truth;
For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven, inasmuch as we, having put it on, will not be found naked. For indeed while we are in this tent, we groan, being burdened, because we do not want to be unclothed but to be clothed, so that what is mortal will be swallowed up by life. Now He who prepared us for this very purpose is God, who gave to us the Spirit as a pledge. Therefore, being always of good courage, and knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord—for we walk by faith, not by sight– we are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord. Therefore we also have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him.
I do long to be clothed with my dwelling from heaven. This week’s school shooting has caused my groaning to increase. But I know that I am clothed now in Christ’s righteousness, and I desire to be with him. And so when I am absent from this body, I will be present with Him. This shell, this frame, this fragile tent, will one day be swallowed up by “life”, a life that is eternal and that has been prepared for me by God. Therefore, I will have faith and be of good courage. And what shall I do while I am still in this body? I will love my wife and rejoice in my marriage. I will love my church and everyone in it as well as God’s church across this world. I will care for my family and strive to love others as I love myself, and I will serve my King.
Yes, and indeed I will have as my ambition, to please Jesus Christ.
–Rob
October 3, 2015